So, uh…hi guys.
You might have noticed I haven’t posted anything in four months. I figure I owe it to you all to tell you why. There are reasons. I can’t promise they are goods ones, but they are reasons.
The first concerns our Sunday game in that they really wanted to try D&D Next. Unfortunately, the strange NDA on Next allows me to talk about the game all I want, but I am specifically forbidden from podcasting a game session.
Second, our Wednesday night GM was burned out and unable to focus down on a game long term, hence the jumping around between one or two session games of Vampire and Gamma World.
Third and most importantly, is my personal failure. I loved this site and hated my job, which gave me the same dream as nearly every gamer to hurl a D20: Maybe I can work on games for a living. I started up the Strand Made program and took a leap of faith. I appreciate every one of you who supported me along the way, but it just wasn’t enough. Not just the money was a problem, now my work here became a constant obligation. All I had down was turn the site I loved into the job I hate. Pretty soon I was broke, creatively blocked and began the long, dark descent into depression. Anxiety and depression are two factor that have guided me the bulk of my life as constant grim companions. In this case they completely overwhelmed me, even visiting the site filled me with shame at my failures so I did it less and less. Eventually I got another job and started rebuilding the pieces of my life, but I wasn’t ready to confront my failure so I just let it lay dormant here.
Well, here I am. I am sorry I abandoned you guys. I am sorry I’m not the man that anyone wanted me to be. I don’t know what any of this means for the future of the site, but I know that I loved it once and I think that I could love it again.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have four thousand spambot comments to clear out.